Musings by Taniya

If it makes sense to you and it makes sense to me, howsoever nonsensical we may be together, does it really matter if it doesn't make sense to nobody else? It's you and me who have to brave it together  It's you and me who have to find the funny in each other's jokes It's you and me who are having our private conversations  It's you and me who are learning and growing with each other Then if it seems improbable to everyone else,  even it seems whimsical to all,  why do you and me need bother? Why do we need to explain our actions or justify your assumptions? Why do we need to modify ourselves to suit your ideals? Why do we have to check our reactions to everyones fancy? Let's be lost in our own little world.  Let's be free and unfettered together nary a care. Let's put a pause to hearing others thoughts and feelings about us. Let's make our world with the bricks and cement only we can procure. Let's embark on this journey without any destinat...

My life is on pause I have goals to achieve  Miles to traverse.  Life can wait  Until I reach whenever Dear life please wait I have reels to watch. My life is on pause Burdened by jobs and family  I wonder I am doing the job for family  Or family has become my job. I promise you life I'll get back to you Wait some more One more promotion  One more birthday  One more digit in my account  One more thing to my name Just one more.... My life is on pause I barely register the moments passing me I curse every Monday I waste every Sunday  I work all day so I can sleep in my expensive bed Then I lie awake as life whispers remember me. My life is on pause I'll live it soon I promise I have seen the future, I have eternity  Just wait for the perfect tomorrow  Now as reapers come for me I see life on my death bed Walking me through my wasted life Laughing at me saying  I was never on pause, I was beside you  Just a choice away. I rem...

I think we live our lives a lot like the way we drink our coffee.  When it's hot and steaming, we are afraid to drink it lest it burns our tongue, but by the time we muster our courage to dive in, it's turned cold and inedible.  So tell me, isn't it how we end up living our lives too. When we are young, hale and hearty we are reluctant to take risks, we stop short of giving our all and we keep playing safe. We don't love, live or speak out hearts out sans restraint. Everything is controlled, domesticated and sanitised to utmost suit others aspirations and assumptions about us. By the time, age and experience teaches us to enjoy the life, usually time and life has whizzed past us. Opportunities are dried up, relations have become bland and we spend the last vestiges of our lives regretting and lamenting over our delicious and precious coffee gone wasted.  I wonder how hot and drinkable my coffee is? On my part I've tried sipping it hot all the while scalding my tongu...

Wasted..........Time!!!! Wasted is the time I spent  Hiding from my past Forgotten moments that are done and dusted.  Besides a few valuable lessons  That is all I get crying over what's past... Either I am living or reliving the memories. Wasted is the time I spent  Fretting or wishing over a future yet to come.  A future so unpredictable and uncertain  Yet I gambled my time and wasted my certainty beyond reason,  Over a yet to occur happening. Wasted is the time whence I forgot To live in the here and now To ignore the what-ifs and have-beens To cherish every moment I love and breathe in now. I stopped creating memories and kept reliving the old ones I kept sweating over one sunset and forgotten the sun will rise again. Wasted is the Time I spent chasing someone else's dreams Holding onto promises not mine to keep Believing the insincere and the negatives. Wasted is the Time I spent hating myself for just existing  Shunning my imperfections and ...

A cup of Coffee I wish To stave off the creeping cold in me To lessen the chills of the weather And more of the hopelessness life brings with it. A cup of Coffee I need and my favourite book to read. A day on pause  No plans in tow Or distractions in sight. No friends or foe to entertain  Just my Coffee and me. No goals or deadlines to grasp A warm cup in my hands And my solitude keeping me company. A cup of Coffee I need Not questioning me for the beans I chose Or judging me for the cups I devour. A cup of Coffee is all I need today Warm, inviting and bitter It never hid its bitterness or aroma For those few connoisseur That deemed it precious after all.

I don't remember the exact words of Dumbledore in Harry Potter when he said.... It takes courage to fight your enemies  It takes even more courage to fight your friends (...and family) This is where its supposed to end.... But I wish to add a corollary. It takes a herculean amount of courage to fight ourselves. Our naked, self loathing and resenting selves. To move beyond our guilt and self reproach To courageously face our biases, limiting beliefs and ideologies. That my dear,  Is the bravest of them all the toughest of them all And frankly speaking, the most foolhardy of them all. Because how do we even begin fighting ourselves? To honestly re evaluate and rewire ourselves to the very core. To accept how and why we have lived till this day, might not be apt for us and then modulating it to suit our ever changing whims, times and ethos. I hope you agree that to face our inner demons is truly the scariest amongst the demons paying us a personal visit. It takes immense courage ...