Marriages today and always: Lost in Translation

 Today my friend and I had an intense coffee table discussion over a recent increase in post marriage dissatisfaction and dissolution of marriages. Now it may be convenient to put the blame on familial interference, economic issues, increased social media influence and increase in women empowerment along with impatience.

But at the root of all it lies the simple fact that once married, the onus to keep trying dies. Marriage is a binding oath with a fixed template created by the society and followed by generations. Whether we like it or not, the urge to be complacent and follow what our parents, their parents and our fellow peers have been doing wins in the end. Whether be love or arranged, be it wife or husband, most of the marriages become devoid of passion and feeling after some time. Some blame it on childbirth, some carry grudges and some just lose all interest in intimacy or opposite partner. The zeal to continue knowing and working on ourselves and with each other, fails in comparison to being like everyone else. It's always been easier to fit in than to stand out. Those who ever muster a little courage to be different and foster intimacy with their partners are shot down by friends, family or worse their own partners. In fact it's the most unfortunate when both the partners are not on the same page. 

But we do see couples nowadays trying to break the norm, working on harboring physical and emotional intimacy even after years of marital union. But the harmony we see on the surface, comes after years of struggles, difficult conversations and tipping points. Marriage is all about adjustments, compromise and loving each other despite all and that's what all the vows are about. But who nowadays remembers the vows they made to each other. 

So instead of joking about or being harsh on those 'Oh! so in love' couples, they should be lauded for their efforts and considered an inspiration for all of us to talk to and feel our spouses more.